Welcome back!
Welcome to the Dating Advice Guide for Men!
Now, there is simply SO MUCH dating advice for men out there that I decided to put this little overview together so you can hopefully avoid the information overload and find out exactly what YOU need to know.
Whether you’re a complete newby to learning this stuff, a seduction student hungry to learn more, or a pickup artist wanting to hone some new skills, I want to reassure you the information is out there and I’m going to tell you the best places to find it. Plus, just so you know, I’m a pretty smart guy who’s put a LOT of this stuff to the test, so I’m going to include a lot of my own insights along the way. 
BUT, there’s ONE thing I want to say before we continue… if you’re looking into this stuff to control, manipulate or abuse women then just FUCK OFF RIGHT NOW. For everyone else I do apologize for the strong language but it just had to be said! A healthy respect for the opposite sex is the foundation for having the patience for learning this stuff, because you simply cannot expect to get it right every time, and when you make a mistake you have to be able to own it. Okay, that was the “heavy paragraph”, now let’s move on!
I want YOU to solve the mystery of ‘WOMAN’ – and rest assured it can and has been done! – and I’ll bet that right now you’re frustrated because you don’t UNDERSTAND women, and don’t know what to do about it. Well first, whatever you do you should never take your frustration out on someone else (I believe this is where all forms of abuse stem from.) Instead, if I can help you to UNDERSTAND, then there will be no frustration any more, and instead you’ll be acting confidently from what you KNOW.
Basically, a woman wants a man who KNOWS, who “GETS IT” (even if they don’t yet!) and ACTS upon what they KNOW.
And that’s the definition of real confidence! Sure, a lot of guys can get away with fake confidence and bravado – and I’m sure you’ve seen them stealing away the women you want from right in front of your eyes and not known what to do about it – but once you have REAL confidence you can destroy their false and pretentious game and give a woman what she really wants in a way these guys don’t have a CLUE about.
Okay, I’m getting way ahead of myself there, but the point is, if you have some kind of GOAL or STRATEGY in mind, it’s going to make a huge difference to your success with women from the get-go. If you want to be successful with women, make it your INTENT right now to A. Understand Women and B. Act Confidently on What You Know. This is going to be the DRIVING FORCE that keeps you going to learn and experiment with all kinds of incredible information and skillsets!
I want to emphasize this because a lot of guys are just looking for “techniques” to improve their game, without realizing they need to be learning SKILLS and developing the CONFIDENCE that makes them work:
Confidence (Inner Game)
+ Skillsets (Outer Game)
= “Success with Women”
Now, there’s a lot of complex ideas and psychology around in the dating field that you may or may not be interested in, but if you can stick to the simple truths, start with WHAT WORKS and then learn what works BETTER, you are way ahead of the average guy and well on your way to mastery with women. I would be happy to help you on that journey, a journey that will ultimately change the way you relate with women from disappointment to satisfaction. With the right information it is just a matter of time.
Now, there’s a lot of great stuff yet we’re going to cover, but before we continue, so that you get a better idea of where you’re at, I recommend you take this quiz to get your personalized report on how you can get hotter women.
Alright, for simplicity’s sake this whole site is broken down into 4 sections:
1. Dating Basics
2. Inner Game (Confidence)
3. Outer Game (Skillsets)
4. Dating Mastery
But remember, true mastery comes from mastering the basics!
It might be helpful to be cocky with women sometimes, but do not make the mistake of getting too cocky with yourself! Know where you’re at.
Let me ask you this, do you have an overall knowledge of how to be successful with women yet, or are you relying on bits and pieces of scattered knowledge? Well, if you’re serious about this, getting the big picture is where you want to start, and for that purpose here is a book I highly recommend:
The Dating Black Book by Carlos Xuma
Rating: 4 1/2 Stars
Look, I haven’t picked this one arbitrarily, I’ve read a LOT of books like these, and I’ve picked the one that will give you the BEST overall starting knowledge to turn your dating life around as fast as possible. It’s a well structured, complete book, single-line spaced 207 pages of fluff-free, solid quality information. You can read my complete review here.
That said, if you are serious about getting this part of your life sorted, you’re not going to want to rely on just one point of view either. Here are my two other top-rated books you’ll want to read as soon as you get the chance:
As well as compiling the best advice from different sources for this site, I’m also in the process of putting together my own ideas and advice which you won’t find anywhere else…
But if you read nothing else, don’t miss out on my articles. This is stuff everyone considering improving their dating life should read: The First and Last Step
The ‘Be Yourself’ Trap
PERSISTENCE
I got a letter recently that I thought was provoking and interesting. I think it’s such a critical point that it needs to be reviewed and restated.
Guys, there is NO magic bullet in dating and attracting women – other than this:
If you are not successful with women right now, you need to LEARN MORE and PRACTICE MORE. And then leave no other option for yourself than success.
Bottom line: You must PERSIST.
No ifs, ands, or buts.
I’ve seen some not-very-attractive guys with such great game that they were always lining up a new lady. They were balding, slightly chubby men – not good looking. But they knew that one thing was going to override any appearance factors: Their ATTITUDE.
Are these guys getting as much sex as the gorgeous model guys? I suspect many probably are. There’s also a distinct chance they might not be getting the supermodels to ride home with them in their Ferrari’s the way some of the gorgeous model guys do.
A lot of guys will just throw their hands up at this and shriek, “Hey! What’s the POINT then? If good looking guys get more sex and better looking women, then what gives?”
In fact, in the letter I got, the reader said this: “Like many other authors and dating experts you continue to overlook the fact that how you look and appear physically is the most important factor in success with beautiful women. I truly know this from first hand, real experience.”
Now I’m going to tell you the same thing I told him:
Your “image” (how you dress, how well groomed you are, etc.) DOES matter.
But your looks do not matter all that much. I suspect many guys like you already know this. If you’ve ever seen a couple and thought, “HUH? What the hell does she see in HIM???” you know what I mean.
However…
Let’s just say for a minute that this is correct and physical appearance is THE most important factor.
What then?
What would that mean to you if this ‘fact’ were established as 100% correct? Would you give up trying to get with beautiful women if your looks weren’t a “10″? Would that mean the “game is over”? No sex with good looking women for you? If the worst thing you suspected were true, *what would you do then?*
You’d have to do what millions of men have to do every day when they’re faced with a challenge: You figure out a way around it.
Looks only get your foot in the door. She can still shove you out and slam the door shut.
I don’t believe there are specific laws you can use that say “only beautiful women will sleep with beautiful men.” Human relationships are not like math where you add up some numbers and always get the same result.
There is NO MAN who is a born or condemned failure with women – IF he’s willing to get in there and persist. I did. I was a beaten-down “Nice Guy” who once endured a two-year dry spell that would have made a celibate monk weep in his cot at night.
Remember, it’s easier to change yourself than the rest of the world. It’s easy to accept an assumption rather than question it and change it in your life.
I happen to believe one fact COMPLETELY and without a doubt with respect to men’s attitudes:
You will only attract the quality of woman into your life that your level of self-confidence will allow.
Did you catch that?
You will only attract the quality of woman that your current level of self-confidence will allow.
Sure, a guy who has average looks is not going to be as IMMEDIATELY appealing to a woman as a hot guy, but in what context? In the meat-market pickup clubs?
Remember this critical fact: HOW you look is less important than the way you make a woman feel.
Have you ever used hotornot.com? It’s a Web site that lets you put your picture up and have it graded on a scale from 1 to 10. Go there and see what kind of ratings some pictures get. Some people’s pictures vary anywhere from a 2 to a 10.
How can this be?
For two reasons:
1) Each woman’s tastes are different. One woman’s ugly is another’s gorgeous.
2) You can put up a different picture with a different attitude and look – but the SAME person – and get completely different ratings. Even from the SAME woman!
How can THAT be?
Do this: Ask any woman you know to go through a set of pictures of you and have her help you pick out which one is most enticing. And then have her explain her choices to you.
Chances are she won’t be able to, but the women that can will tell you it’s all in the attitude (sexiness) you convey. Same person, just different attitudes.
The same thing happens in real life. Your appearance is directly influenced by your attitude.
So, back to the Truth: How you LOOK is less important than how you make her FEEL. But you do have to make the most of what you’ve got first so that she’ll be interested enough to peek below the surface.
If you’re not having more success with women right now, it’s because something is still missing. I’ll bet that I know what this is, too.
ATTITUDE.
Every single guy I know who has improved his game with women has shirked off that bitter, whining attitude (that he can’t get success because of this or that) and he just goes and DOES IT ANYWAY.
Remember that scene in Apollo 13 where Ed Harris talks about the situation and says, “Failure is not an option!” There was NO point in their problem solving that allowed them to throw their hands up and say, “Can’t do it! Those guys are just going to have to die up there. We give up.”
That’s SO essential. You can’t give yourself the option of failure, or you will probably take that option somewhere along the way.
There is ALWAYS a reason that you’re not getting the success you want with women, and there is ALWAYS a solution.
So my message is this: The only people who fail in this world are those who PERSEVERE. There are plenty of guys who want to find this mystical magical combination of words that will “GET A WOMAN IN BED WITH YOU, TONIGHT!”
It doesn’t exist, guys. It’s what they used to call Snake Oil.
I’m here to tell you that you CAN have almost any woman you want, but you’re going to have to learn and practice a hell of a lot more. It’s not instantaneous. And there are no “six magic words” out there that are going to change that. The great Secret that you’re all looking for is already in front of you:
ANY method will work, if you REALLY use it and work it. (And it’s not as hard as you might imagine.)
Failure will NOT be an option.
If you employ these principles, and make her feel good about herself and you, you WILL be more successful.
Now get busy!
