When you get right down to it, there are only two dating skills that really matter to guys: 1) Meet Women, 2) Keep women.
If you can just approach and meet women, you've got a big part of the game handled. After that, it's how to keep women interested in you and attracted to you. Because you must remember that if you're not going to keep your woman happy, someone else is waiting on the sidelines to give it a shot.
So here are three of the best ways I have used to meet women. And any guy can do them.
3 WAYS TO MEET WOMEN...
1) Meet Women in Bars & Clubs.
Hey, this one works just great for some guys. I say "some" guys because the truth is that if you're looking for a girlfriend it's highly unlikely you're going to meet her in a bar. Bars are for quick hookups. It's the territory of the "pickup artist" and the slick players. And the reality is that most women don't go to clubs to meet guys. (At least, that's not their primary reason for going to bars.)
Women go to bars to have FUN. And... maybe meet some guys.
Let's face it: Bars are crowded, loud, obnoxious, and overpriced. They take a lot more skill because of the competition. And the reality is that you're probably not going to meet women that want a steady relationship. But they are a great place to meet single women in one concentrated environment. It's like the superstore for meeting women.
2) Meet Women in Your Social Network
The reality is that most people want to meet people who are friends of their friends. Women like to meet guys that they feel are "safe," and when you're a friend of one of her friends, you're already locked in as a proven commodity.
First of all, seize your opportunities.
You need to go to any and all parties that your friends invite you to. Make sure you meet up with them for happy hour, or just to hang out on the weekends. Inevitably women will come along with their friends just on the CHANCE they can meet a cool guy.
(They won't tell you this, but it's true...)
Even better is to line up a couple parties to hit on the same night so that you can find the one with the best opportunities for you. Always give yourself options. Make it a point to meet women in your social network, because that's how women feel most comfortable meeting guys.
3) Meet Women Online
I know this one is going to meet with a lot of controversy, but it can be the best method of the bunch. If you're not already using an online dating service, like Match.com or something similar, you're missing out on the easiest method to meet women ever invented.
First off it's convenient. You can actually sit at home and meet women from the comfort of your living room. You can search for women with the same interests as you, with all the features you prefer. You can also schedule your meetings with the women you find interesting all in a row. I used to stack up as many as six meetings in a single Sunday afternoon. I could meet women for morning tea and be home in time for the game. But here's where most guys go wrong when they try to meet women online: They assume that women will just jump on any opportunity to meet them.
The harsh truth is that you still need to prove your value enough to get a woman to overcome her natural fear of strangers to meet you for drinks. And there is a bit of a system to helping a woman through the process of responding to your introduction, following through with a phone call, and then agreeing to meet up with you. As a result, most guys quit their online dating service within 3 months. They'll probably go back to try it again at a later date, but without more understanding of what women are looking for and what the protocol is for online dating, they'll probably quit again and again.
Here are a couple tips for when you meet women online that will help you overcome these issues:
- Remember her first concern: SAFETY.
A woman needs to feel safe. After all, you're a great guy, right? YOU know that, but she's still hearing her friends tell her the most outrageous horror stories about the losers they encountered. The first time you talk on the phone, make it a fun conversation. No heavy stuff. And don't even suggest you meet her yet. Just get her wanting more. Then end the call at a high point. Call her a day later and suggest a meet for some coffee or tea for 30 minutes to "see if anything clicks." The more casual you make this sound, the less anxiety you stir into the mix.
- Remember that a woman is not expecting online dating is a short-cut to intimacy.
Some guys assume that if a woman is using an online dating service, that she's just ready to blow right past all the formalities and small talk. It's actually the opposite. She needs to be reassured that you're cool, safe, and fun - and not some psycho. Hey, she's already sensitive that using an online dating service could imply she's lowering her standards - or desperate herself. So you have to be cool and calm and make it easy for her to enjoy the process.
Take your time and play the role of the reluctant suitor. The less you come across as needy and desperate, the better you will appear - and the more you will stand out from the pack.
As you can see, there are many ways to meet women, and you need to use them all. I have a philosophy for guys that I call "multiple streams of female income." What this means is that you need to use several different methods to meet women so that: 1) You don't make one method too important and feel too heavy and serious with expectations, and 2) You have backup options in case one method isn't working for you.
It's all about protecting your attitude and your confidence when you're out there trying to meet women. Use all the opportunities and resources available to you to date more effectively.
- Make sure you take the opportunity to check out our Dating Advice Guides for Men, for Women, and for Sex and Relationships.