Welcome to the Dating Advice Guide for Men!

Now, there is simply SO MUCH dating advice for men out there that I decided to put this little overview together so you can hopefully avoid the information overload and find out exactly what YOU need to know.

Whether you’re a complete newby to learning this stuff, a seduction student hungry to learn more, or a pickup artist wanting to hone some new skills, I want to reassure you the information is out there and I’m going to tell you the best places to find it. Plus, just so you know, I’m a pretty smart guy who’s put a LOT of this stuff to the test, so I’m going to include a lot of my own insights along the way.

BUT, there’s ONE thing I want to say before we continue… if you’re looking into this stuff to control, manipulate or abuse women then just FUCK OFF RIGHT NOW. For everyone else I do apologize for the strong language but it just had to be said! A healthy respect for the opposite sex is the foundation for having the patience for learning this stuff, because you simply cannot expect to get it right every time, and when you make a mistake you have to be able to own it. Okay, that was the “heavy paragraph”, now let’s move on!

I want YOU to solve the mystery of ‘WOMAN’ – and rest assured it can and has been done! – and I’ll bet that right now you’re frustrated because you don’t UNDERSTAND women, and don’t know what to do about it. Well first, whatever you do you should never take your frustration out on someone else (I believe this is where all forms of abuse stem from.) Instead, if I can help you to UNDERSTAND, then there will be no frustration any more, and instead you’ll be acting confidently from what you KNOW.

Basically, a woman wants a man who KNOWS, who “GETS IT” (even if they don’t yet!) and ACTS upon what they KNOW.

And that’s the definition of real confidence! Sure, a lot of guys can get away with fake confidence and bravado – and I’m sure you’ve seen them stealing away the women you want from right in front of your eyes and not known what to do about it – but once you have REAL confidence you can destroy their false and pretentious game and give a woman what she really wants in a way these guys don’t have a CLUE about.

Okay, I’m getting way ahead of myself there, but the point is, if you have some kind of GOAL or STRATEGY in mind, it’s going to make a huge difference to your success with women from the get-go. If you want to be successful with women, make it your INTENT right now to A. Understand Women and B. Act Confidently on What You Know. This is going to be the DRIVING FORCE that keeps you going to learn and experiment with all kinds of incredible information and skillsets!

I want to emphasize this because a lot of guys are just looking for “techniques” to improve their game, without realizing they need to be learning SKILLS and developing the CONFIDENCE that makes them work:

Confidence (Inner Game)
+ Skillsets (Outer Game)
= “Success with Women”

Now, there’s a lot of complex ideas and psychology around in the dating field that you may or may not be interested in, but if you can stick to the simple truths, start with WHAT WORKS and then learn what works BETTER, you are way ahead of the average guy and well on your way to mastery with women. I would be happy to help you on that journey, a journey that will ultimately change the way you relate with women from disappointment to satisfaction. With the right information it is just a matter of time.

Now, there’s a lot of great stuff yet we’re going to cover, but before we continue, so that you get a better idea of where you’re at, I recommend you take this quiz to get your personalized report on how you can get hotter women.

Alright, for simplicity’s sake this whole site is broken down into 4 sections:
1. Dating Basics
2. Inner Game (Confidence)
3. Outer Game (Skillsets)
4. Dating Mastery

But remember, true mastery comes from mastering the basics!

It might be helpful to be cocky with women sometimes, but do not make the mistake of getting too cocky with yourself! Know where you’re at.

Let me ask you this, do you have an overall knowledge of how to be successful with women yet, or are you relying on bits and pieces of scattered knowledge? Well, if you’re serious about this, getting the big picture is where you want to start, and for that purpose here is a book I highly recommend:

The Dating Black Book by Carlos Xuma
Rating: 4 1/2 Stars

Look, I haven’t picked this one arbitrarily, I’ve read a LOT of books like these, and I’ve picked the one that will give you the BEST overall starting knowledge to turn your dating life around as fast as possible. It’s a well structured, complete book, single-line spaced 207 pages of fluff-free, solid quality information. You can read my complete review here.

That said, if you are serious about getting this part of your life sorted, you’re not going to want to rely on just one point of view either. Here are my two other top-rated books you’ll want to read as soon as you get the chance:

Dating to Relating from A to Z by Dr. L Rx

Double Your Dating by David D’Angelo

As well as compiling the best advice from different sources for this site, I’m also in the process of putting together my own ideas and advice which you won’t find anywhere else…

But if you read nothing else, don’t miss out on my articles. This is stuff everyone considering improving their dating life should read: The First and Last Step
The ‘Be Yourself’ Trap

• Make sure you take the opportunity to check out our Dating Advice Guides for Men, for Women, and for Sex and Relationships.

• Make sure you take the opportunity to check out our Dating Advice Guides for Men, for Women, and for Sex and Relationships.

• Make sure you take the opportunity to check out our Dating Advice Guides for Men, for Women, and for Sex and Relationships.

I’m willing to bet almost anything you’ve heard this one before:

“Just be yourself and girls will like you for who you are.”

Great advice… On the surface… But I’m sorry fella, it just ain’t gonna cut it. Let’s find out why in a little more detail so you’re no longer confused on this one like most people are (I know I was for a long time!)

First, if you’re nervous or anxious around women, the LAST thing you’re going to be able to DO is “be yourself”! Even if you’re the most amazing person on the planet otherwise, she’s never going to know that if you turn into a stammering nervous reck around her.

But more importantly, what “self” are you being? Do you know yourself well enough to be able to tell the difference when you are and aren’t being yourself? The sad truth is most people don’t. When it comes down to your sense of identity, it’s the trickiest thing in the world to pin down, and for good reason. Identity is a fluid thing, it’s changing all the time, whether we admit to it or not.

The thing is, most people confuse their SELF with their limited definitions of their SELF-IMAGE. We are all much more than we BELIEVE we are, that’s why we GROW. If you have a self-image that let’s you confidently and calmly interact with women and know what you’re doing and why you’re doing it, AWESOME! But if you have a self-image that PREVENTS you from doing that, it’s time to question if it’s really you (Hint: it’s not, it’s just your imagination!)

I’m not saying you need to create a fake persona to get girls, as some pickup artists do, I’m saying your need to EXPAND your definitions of who you are. We all have the inherent ability to ACT in ways that ATTRACT women. The only person preventing us from acting in those ways is us, or more accurately, the limited ideas we have of ourselves.

Being fake is for suckers and most women pick up on it instantly because it’s incongruent. They can feel something is a little “off”. What you should be looking at is changing your BEHAVIOUR PATTERNS. Because, fortunately or unfortunately for all men:

Women respond emotionally to how you ACT.
(Cool, I just noticed this: ACT is central to attrACTion.)

If you don’t understand this, you’re going to create resentment towards women for not appreciating you for who you are. Yes, they will take you for granted or dismiss you because your ACTIONS aren’t “doing it for them” on an EMOTIONAL LEVEL. So don’t try to fight it my friend, accept it for how it is and learn to work with it.

If you act like a needy drooling desperate chump (aka WUSS), she’s not going to respect you OR feel attraction, quite the opposite in fact. But if you act like an independent, together, confident, fun-loving MAN, you’re going to easily create respect AND attraction. Are you still one of those guys who think “if only she spent some time with me she’d like me”? Dude, she’s not going to WANT to spent that time with you in the first place if you can’t SHOW her from the start that you’re someone she WANTS to spend time with. Making sense yet?

So how do you get from one type of man to the other? (or in other words fix any behaviour patterns that aren’t working for you.) PRACTICE. There is going to be a bit of “fake it til you make it”, but you don’t even have to look at it like that. You’ve simply got to TRY NEW THINGS. Learn new stuff and experiment. Not everything that you hear about is going to work for you, but there is definitely stuff that will. USE whatever jibes with you.

Learn some new routines and new behaviours and take the time to adapt them to your current personality. Them give them a go, even as a joke at first. Sure, you’re going to feel like a tool sometimes when you say the wrong thing then realize it, but learn to laugh about it and chances are she won’t take it seriously either. Just remember, you’re going to feel like even MORE of a tool when she rejects you in some way because you’ve repeated old behaviour that you already know doesn’t work. So try some new stuff that might.

And next time someone tells you to “just be yourself”, turn around and tell them “No way! I’m putting my energy into being MORE of myself – and lovin it!”. A much better option don’t you think?

• Make sure you take the opportunity to check out our Dating Advice Guides for Men, for Women, and for Sex and Relationships.

When it comes to women and dating, the first and last thing you should do is ask yourself is why am I doing this? Or as an actor would say: “What’s my motivation in this scene?”

Now, there’s a number of great reasons to learn about all this stuff, and a huge amount you can get out of it. For example:
- meeting more beautiful interesting women
- overcoming your personal fears and anxieties
- building up your confidence and self-esteem
- gaining the skills to get the women you want
- stop ending up in the dreaded “friend zone”
- understanding the male-female interaction
- improving your social skills and influence
- having great sex with some incredible women

But you need to beware also, there are some hidden motivations traps and patterns which can go unrecognized along the way, that can really screw up your life if you don’t see them. There are MASTER pickup artists out there who don’t have this shit handled (ever read “The Game”?) and get addicted to their game to:
- fill an emptiness in their life
- get self validation from others
- going in for the ultimate ego trip
- manipulate and control people
- any number of other strange things!

Just don’t be the person who gets lost in this stuff, okay? There IS more to life. Now I apologize for these horrible cliches, but I need to make a point here:

1. Life is a stage, and we are the players.
2. It’s not whether you win or lose, it’s how you play the game.

Of course you want to “bed that hot chick”, which guy doesn’t? (yeah I know smartass gay guys alright alright.) Even if that IS your goal, where 90% of guys go wrong is in FOCUSSING on it way to strongly in their mind. That is a BIG mistake for two reasons.

1. It creates desperation, and everyone knows desperation is NOT attractive.
2. It is simply NOT compatible with the way women actually WORK.

Generally speaking, women are PROCESS-ORIENTED and men are GOAL-ORIENTED.And no amount of complaining, whinging, convincing, begging, confronting, chasing, or ‘sharing of your feelings’ is going to change that even one little bit. So stop being a wussbag by pretending any of that shit will work okay?

(Sidenote: Why not respect your own feelings enough to keep them to yourself until you know what they REALLY are and that she’s ready to hear them, which in most cases is going to be AFTER you’ve slept with her and have been going out for a while. Before then it’s a guaranteed “crash and burn” idea. Take it from me she’ll be running scared! You should be DOING things to make her feel ATTRACTION, not EXPECTING her to recipricate emotions you’re probably generating just because YOU see her as attractive.)

Ummm, where were we… yeah, process-oriented versus goal-oriented. Well, I’m going to give you the simple magic formula for bridging the gap here, so you can transition to appreciating BOTH okay? Because look, if no one spells out the “elusive obvious” on this one, you just might MISS THE POINT like most everyone else:

Make this your motivation: TO HAVE FUN.

There, I said it. Simple advice really, but so rarely taken. NO SERIOUSLY! If you had just an inkling of how much FUN I’ve had learning this stuff, if I could somehow transfer to you for one moment the sheer joy I’ve had from simply interacting with women, you might actually start to take me seriously here. (I get girls in laughing fits, thanking me for spending time with them, and absolutely astounded at how much fun I am on a regular basis. It’s not an ego trip, it’s about MUTUAL AMUSEMENT.)

Don’t be a “player”. Be someone who knows how to PLAY.

Look, you can’t learn to PLAY anywhere, you have to teach it to yourself. I should say: RE-teach it to yourself, but BETTER this time. As kids most of us knew how to play, (funnily enough I didn’t really!) but then we “grow up” and forget how to play. What a travesty. No wonder most of the women on the planet are BORED TO DEATH with the average guy. DON’T BE THAT GUY. Give yourself permission to play again, to tease, to be funny, to be cocky, to do silly and stupid things with women that make YOU laugh and SHE will be laughing and LOVE you for it (warning: I mean *in that moment*, it may or may not be enough by itself for her to develop long-term feelings for you okay?)

If you can change your attitude to being a TRULY “fun-loving guy”, you have it MADE!

Look, it may not be enough ALONE to get you in bed with a gorgeous gal – although, come to think of it, for some girls it is! – but it’s 50%. HALFWAYS dude. Think of that! Make THIS your “game” – TO HAVE FUN. Then if you screw up the whole deal and don’t get anywhere with a girl (which let’s face it is GOING to happen, that’s how you learn) then it just ain’t going to matter much because you’ve both had a great time anyway (which automatically puts a stop to any neediness on your part.) It is the NUMBER ONE way to GIVE YOURSELF A CHANCE, every other skill aside.

Learn to play the game. But it’s not “game” my friend, it is THE Game – of LIFE.

This attitude change will massively improve the quality of your life, in ways you can’t even begin to imagine right now, so make this shift your number one priority for your own sake and for the sake of all the lovely ladies out there! And keep it up until the last and beyond…

• Make sure you take the opportunity to check out our Dating Advice Guides for Men, for Women, and for Sex and Relationships.